Geoff and Debbie's Story: The Power of Knowing Your Loved Ones' Wishes

Fifteen years ago, Debbie Howard's husband, Geoff, a Wellington cartographer, died suddenly at just 55 after suffering a brain bleed. In the middle of the worst day of her life, Debbie made a decision she's never once doubted: Geoff would become an organ and tissue donor, including his eye tissue. 
 
"I knew straight away that he wanted to be an organ donor," she says. Within five minutes of being told there was no hope for his recovery, she'd already told hospital staff his wishes. Debbie says they all looked at each other, as if to say, "Does she actually know what's going on?"  

She did. She and Geoff had talked about organ donation many times over the years, prompted partly by his sister's chronic liver condition. Geoff had even offered to be a living liver donor for her.  
 
"I knew if he was prepared to be a donor when he was alive, he would also be when he was dead," Debbie says. "It was a very easy decision for me to make." 
 
When hospital staff asked specifically whether Geoff's eyes could be included, it felt particularly meaningful to Debbie. Through her family's own experiences within the disability community, she'd come to know how much sight means to people, and how many never get the chance to have their sight restored. "The thought that he could actually give sight to somebody really made me feel better," she says. 
 
Because fog delayed the donation team's flight from Auckland, Debbie and her family were given a little longer with Geoff before his donation surgery, time she describes as difficult, but something she wouldn't trade. "It's a very surreal experience," she says. "But just the thought that we could be helping some people, it just makes me feel so good that we did." 
 
Geoff's donation extended the lives of at least five people. Debbie doesn't know the details of who received his corneas, but she says, "I'm very proud to tell people that my husband was an organ donor. He died, but he lives on in others." 
 
Fifteen years on, Debbie and her family still mark Geoff's birthday and their wedding anniversary, raising a glass in his memory each year. She talks about him often, raises the topic of organ and tissue donation with others, and has spoken to her local Probus group about the importance of families discussing their wishes directly.  
 
Her message to families who've never talked about donation is simple and personal: picture yourself on the other side.  
 
"People have got to think, if that was happening to me, if I was in the other situation, needing a donation, how would I feel? Would you want someone else to donate then?" 
 
She believes Geoff would be proud to have his story told. “He'd like to think that other people would do it too, to help others in need.”