Little Jack's 7 Gifts of Life

23 February 2009

The photo of young Jack Bebbington shows him with a huge grin as he carries an armful of gifts for his little sister Aimee's birthday.

Kind and generous, the 12-year-old loved giving to others and that's exactly how his parents Jackie (45) and Paul (49) of Auckland, want to remember him.

Just a month after this happy picture was taken, Jack, who had been fit and healthy, suddenly died of a subdural haematoma (a spontaneous brain injury). It was a huge shock to his loving family. But the pain of losing their precious son in October has been eased by the fact that Jack's generosity continued past his death and at least seven people are healthier as a result of the organs he donated.

"When I look at the photograph of Jack carrying all those gifts, it represents to me all the organs he has given to others who are in need," says Jackie, who cannot hold back her tears whenever she looks at the picture.

"It also reminds us that Jack was a gift to us too, as a son, and to everyone who knew and loved him."

A year before his tragic death, Jack, his parents and Aimee (10) had all discussed the subject of organ donation after Jack chose it as the subject for a school speech.

"I reckon he chose that topic just to gross the other kids in the class out," says Jackie, smiling through her tears.

"I asked him if he needed an organ to save his life, would he take it. He said he would and that he would donate his own organs to help another person.

"In his speech, Jack wasn't trying to say donating organs was right or wrong, he was posing the questions about the issues surrounding it."

But Jack's loving parents never imagined that a year after this conversation, they would be faced with the harsh reality of donating their son's organs.

Jack, who loved the outdoors, died at a friend's home after he complained of a headache and couldn't be woken up after falling asleep. He was taken to hospital and put on life support, but the severity of the brain injury, caused by an arterial malformation that he was born with but did not know about, meant he could not be saved.

"Jack had no illnesses, he was a fit, well boy. We didn't know anything was wrong with him," says Paul.

Jackie, who did martial arts with her son, says the decision to donate Jack's organs was an easy one.

"When the doctors asked us about it, something lit up for me and I automatically said yes," she remembers. "We put so much into him, made sure he was healthy and active. To me, to waste those organs, knowing they could potentially save others, would have been a bigger tragedy."

Jack's death has taken a huge toll on everyone in the close-knit family.

"I struggle to comprehend life without my son and just can't understand how he was with us one minute and gone the next," says Paul.

Paul has devoted his time to promoting organ donation and is planning a concert in Jack's memory on the anniversary of his death.

He says his involvement in the cause helps him cope with his son's sudden death.

"Our goal is to make people aware of how much good comes from donating organs, because there's such a shortage in New Zealand. It can make a difference in many people's lives," he says.

Adds Jackie, "I look back and try to find gaps where I could have done something better but I can't think of one thing and that's what helps me get through this."

Paul and Jackie will mourn their son forever, but they know at least seven lives have changed thanks to Jack's donation.

"Jack was a quiet achiever, and even in death, he is achieving," says Paul. "Our wonderful son is now helping other people have better lives."

Author: Aroha Awarau NZ Woman's Weekly 23.2.09