Gift of Life

11 December 2008

Paul Sommer had been on dialysis for a year, almost to the day, when he received a phone call telling him there was a suitable kidney available for transplant.

It came as a shock - he was mentally unprepared for the call as he had been told the wait could be as long as five years.

"I asked if I could have a little bit of time to think about it.

"They said, 'Yeah sure, we will call back in 15 minutes."

That quick decision was one of the best of his life, says the St Lukes father of four. But it didn't come without stress.

"It was a very traumatic time. My children thought I was going to die. I did, too."

Later, Mr Sommer's wife left him, citing the trauma of seeing him go through the operation.

However, it's been a life-changing experience. "The last five years, I have been fitter than I was 10 years ago."

Mr Sommer was in his mid-20s when his doctor first told him his kidneys were not the size they should be.

He was told that dialysis was a long way off in the future.

"But it was only a short time later they told me they (his kidneys) had got really bad.

Its not something that you just wake up and it is really bad. It's gradual. Slowly, you just get more and more tired. Soon, even mowing the lawn was an effort."

Mr Sommer decided to try CAPD (Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis). dialysis. It involves surgery to insert a catheter in the abdomen, enabling dialysis to be carried out almost anywhere.

"I lived with the philosophy that I wouldn't let the condition alter my lifestyle."

Mr Sommer made it through and now he treats every day as a gift. He works as an information technology tutor and loves getting out of Auckland for hikes.

"My advice to others: don't dwell on the conditions; make the most of life. Even for people not suitable for transplant, live life to the full. Don't become a couch potato."

Across Auckland, in Onehunga, a woman with a similar outlook on life but different experience is Robin Sumner.

She recently returned from Italy - the first long distance trip since she received a kidney from her oldest son six years ago. "After I had to go on dialysis, the boys decided to do something. They offered their kidneys. I said no, but they insisted.

"It turns out they were both compatible. The eldest ended up giving it. "I gave him life and then he gave it back", she says. "It hasn't necessarily given me a longer life but it has given me a better quality one.

"The whole thing has brought the whole family closer together."

Robin had haemodialysis, which involved going to the Auckland hospital for three four-hour treatments a week, during which time she was hooked up to a machine.

"I chose to do self-care. Help was there if I needed it but I wanted to do it myself. It was exhausting.

"Monday, Wednesday and Friday I would leave the house at noon and get home at 7pm. "I had to leave my job, which was very difficult."

One of the defining points of Robin's recovery from her kidney was the support from her friends and family.

"For six months after, I had to go to the hospital every day for check-ups except I was not allowed to drive. All my friends got together and made a roster where they all took turns driving me in every day. It was amazing."

The biggest factor in making a quick recovery, says Robin, is one's outlook on life.

"I believe attitude has a big role to play. People say I'm strong. I was just determined I would do the best I could.

Don't sit around and think about how bad everything is get out there and make the most of life. Exercise and eat well. It all helps."

By Joseph Barrett Aucklander - City